When Life Gives You Lemons

Intro

"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." Sometimes life throws something in your way that you are not ready for, or something that you just do not expect. And as the saying goes, you are supposed to make the best out of it. But, sometimes, it's not so much that you are surprised by it. Instead, you just think that it should not happen in the first place. It feels like it is not the norm. It's more akin to life giving you lemons when lemons are not in season.

This is a little life story that had an unexpected event and an unexpected reaction to the unexpected event.

The guitar player (What happened)

One day, Vy (my partner) and I hopped on a tram to go to a shopping centre. The tram was pretty empty, with only around five other people in it. We took out our AirPods and started listening to music. After just a few stops, a guy came in with a guitar.

He sat down a few seats behind us and then started playing his guitar, quite loudly! It's not any particular song, just seemingly random chords. Vy got kind of annoyed at him, she turned her head at him and try to give him a judgemental look, so that he would stop. But he just carried on. The music volume on our AirPods can't really compete with the loud guitar.

We looked at each other and just sighed. I was contemplating if I should have asked him to stop. However, a few stops after the man got on, a child and her mother came on the tram. She looked so ecstatic when she heard the music! She grabbed her mom's hand and dragged her towards the man, while pointing excitedly.

Then, they sat next to the man, watching him play. The girl's eyes were full of awe. This was not her usual boring tram ride where she just sits there waiting for her stop. It was a musical tram. It was like she couldn't believe that there was live music inside the tram. She thought It was the best thing ever! When the man got off the tram, she seemed a bit disappointed, but she said to him with her cute little voice, "bye bye!"

Contrasting reactions (Why it happened)

So, in this incident, the adults did not care at all about the guitar player, in fact, some were quite annoyed. On the other hand, the child was very joyous. Let's explore some probable explanations.

Perhaps it's because the child likes music more than adults. No, that can't be the case, most of the adults were wearing headphones in the tram, probably listening to music. Then, maybe, it was because the adults have seen better guitar players before. That's possible, since an infant would naturally have seen less guitar players in their lifetime. However, I think that a deeper reason might be because the adults think that it is not the social norm for people to be playing guitar on the tram. On the other hand, the child might see it as something novel, and maybe even think that it should happen more often.

A child typically does not have the same constrains as adults when reacting to an unexpected event. They might see something as more neutral, without any experiences to reference, and without the weight of social expectancy. A child would look at situations just as it is, without any prejudice.

Being more child-like (What can we learn)

I can't help to feel envious of the child when she was staring at a guitar player in awe. It must be nice to have had that naivety. To get some of that back, I can probably start by adjusting my expectation of reality. The social norm that dictates "people on the tram should not play their guitar" had restricted my reaction to the unexpected event.

Looking at it deeper, the general social norm is probably less specific, closer to "people in public spaces should not make loud noises that might bother others". It seems fair enough to apply to yourself and also expect it from others. However, it is also caused me to have an automatic reflex reaction to a situation that doesn't fit the norm. My reaction was restricted unconsciously.

With that in mind, the part that I can change is the bit after the unconscious thought. Instead of sticking with my automatic initial reaction, I ought to reflect on it. I should be more mindful of my reactions and understand why I reacted in certain ways. And I think writing is a good way to do that, so here we are!

Outro

This was certainly an interesting experience to have. When it happened, I jotted it down on my list of blog posts ideas. It is not too out of the ordinary, and something similar probably happen all the time. But, hopefully, my interpretation of it can help you to reflect on some similar events in your lives. And, hopefully, the next time I encounter a similar situation, I can have a more positive outlook.

When life gives me out-of-season lemons, I'll try to make lemonade anyway 🍋